Keeping busy :)

Hello!!!

So I think I have been doing a pretty good job at keeping myself busy. I mean it's only been 3 days, but still. Lol

I'm reading this book.

And I love it. I have like 50 more pages and it's hilarious. I love her. I feel like I need to hurry through all her books so I can get to the next one! Lol reading has become a fun hobby of mine.. I used to hate it, but I think that's because while I was in school I was forced to read so many boring books that I just had no interest in any books at all!

I got to skype with Ben last night right before I went to sleep. It was a VERY nice surprise!!



Although it hasn't hit me that he is gone, it was still really great to see his face and hear his voice at the same time. If only there was such a thing as kiss cam!!! Hahaha

Today, I went and hung out with my friend Wendy and her daughter Melody, we went to a few places on base just to pass the time. It was nice getting out of the house!!


This is melody, isn't she the cutest thing ever? I love her like she was my own!! well, maybe. I don't really know what loving my own child is like... Well because I don't have one. Lol even though I treat this


Little girl like she is a human. I swear I do.. It's really kind of sad. But we saved her life, and now I feel like in a way, she is saving mine. Now that I don't have Ben to come home too.. She always meets me at the door welcoming me home as if she thought I was never coming back, and as if I was interested in chewing some of her bone. Crazy thing. She cuddles with me everytime were in bed. And is in the bathroom with me when I take a shower.. I could go on forever, if you don't get what I'm saying by now... Idk what else to tell you. Anyways, what I'm saying, is she makes it not so lonely, she helps me feel more at home here, and makes me feel not so alone.

Sooo none the less. I miss Ben sooo so much, but I'm doing okay. When it hits me that he isn't coming home for a long time, I'll tell you then how I'm doing. Thanks for all the support from my family and friends and everyone who has been there for me through this crazy time. Love you all!!!



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Our first "see you later"

Well, Ben left yesterday.. It was seriously such a horrible feeling. I was trying soo hard not to cry the whole time... A bunch of friends came out to see him off.. (which was really an awesome thing) and we were all standing at the shuttle that takes him to the airport and talking and hanging out for the last time.. Next thing you know they were doing last call to get on the bus... Ben came up to me gave me the best hug ever and lots of kisses and told me he loves me very much. :)
then, walked away. When he let go of me I lost it. It was like I literally was watching my heart walk away. After that, everything was a blur. Him getting on the bus and the bus leaving I don't even remember.. I just know that it happened sooo quickly. And while I didn't like that, I'm so glad it happened fast... So I walked away and was headed to my car, when I started crying even more...
After this, we went to chilis with the friends who showed up. Chelsea and I didn't eat, I had no appetite what so ever.. Then beth showed us this AMAZING shoe store (which is always the best therapy) the shoe store was pretty dang awesome.. All the shoes were pretty cheap and it was just what I needed to find. So thanks Beth :)
Then I went home, and took a nap. Then I went to Wendy's house and spent the night over there. Night time seems to be the worst. It was fun hanging out with some friends and watching all of our dogs playing together and just chit chatting.

Then tonight, my friend Heather is sleeping over and were ganna have a girls night to get our mind off of everything.. Her husband left today, to go the same
Place as Ben is.. Which is pretty cool.

But yeah, all in all I'm good, it honestly hasn't hit me yet... I don't feel like he is gone, I feel like maybe he is on a tdy or he's at work or something... The e
Tears come and go, and I'm beyond emotional with all of this, but I'll be okay, and Ben wi be okay. And as long as we have eachother, and keep busy, everything will be just fine :) I love him and miss him so much!


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