sometimes it is so hard to say how i feel. i know how i feel, because well, I'm the one feeling this way. but to put it into words is a totally different story. I don't know who I am, I don't know anything about myself anymore. I've never felt that way, and its scary. It really stresses me out. which also puts fear into my mind about Aubreigh, feeling this way canNOT be good for her either. and thats the last thing i want to do, is stress her out. So i try to "stay positive" which seems to be everyones answer for everything. but that doesn't work for me. of course i try.. i mean lets be real, you think i want to feel this way, or i like to feel this way? ha. um no. i guess a good way to describe how i feel, is constant sadness, and i feel like I'm going crazy within my own body. Ben even said something about my mood swings the other day (which could also be because of me being pregnant) maybe a mixture of the two, who knows. I'm just going to stop here, because i don't know how to put the rest I'm feeling in words.

on to less depressing things:

we found out were having a girl !!! for those of you who don't know, we're naming her Aubreigh Essie Rea. i am so so so excited!! she is already soo spoiled, her closet is like, full already and she isn't supposed to be here for another 4 months! lol so crazy. but we wouldn't have it any other way!



and this is her closet:






we also got a puppy. (bens choice, not mine..) don't get me wrong, i love her to death, and she's great! i just didn't want to get another one right before we have a baby. especially since ben is working all the time and he leaves a lot.. which will leave me to take care of the baby and the puppy. soo 2 babies! lol it will be so worth it though! we named her Jasmine.



wellll! thats pretty much my life these days!